Friends....

It's intriguing to witness the changes friends go through.

One of my friends grew older but none the wiser. He's always been a laid back sort of person. Got married with a very capable, career minded lady. When they had their first child, she made the decision to give up her career totally just to be a housewife and look after the kids.

But my friend grew more and more laid back, to the point of perhaps letting laziness creep in. His career went no where. He dabbled in business but that led nowhere as well. His wife who loved and adored this once young and ambitious man is obviously disappointed. But being Asian, she kept things to herself for she believed that once she marries the man she chose, she will have to abide by the unwritten family rules in Asians.

All of us around them can't help but sigh whenever we hear about them.

Then there's this other friend who called me the other day, after quite a long while. He had to undergo an operation recently and is literally broke now. Besides the odd freelance jobs here and there, he hasn't really had any serious work for the last year or so.

This is someone who's had his glory days running one of the most successful businesses in our line of business some years ago. Where did all those hard earned dollars of his heydays go?

I knew he had a large family to support, and is the sole earner of the family. But then, he wasn't earning nickels and dimes in his heydays either?

Planning, maybe that's what it is we all need to do.

Make realistic plans and keep reviewing where we stand and where we are with respect to those plans.

It's easy for human nature to take over, for our minds to wander off track and let circumstances dictate and lead us to believe that we're none other than puppets of circumstances playing out in our lives. We let ourselves be convinced that those circumstances must be allowed to play out their course.

These mind games hinder our ability to rationalise and we fall prey.

I myself have fallen prey many times. I myself have made unrealistic plans which ended up with dreadful results. There's a fine line between pushing oneself to one's limits and coaxing one's abilities and instincts to flourish optimally in the direction we choose.

Every day is a different chapter and evey new day brings with it circumstances, problems, obstacles, challenges etc. It's up to us to filter out the ones we need to deal with from the ones which distract, and the ones which can wait and the ones which can't. This ability to filter and discern is probably the difference between great men and women and the not so great ones.