About INTROSPECTION

Everyone needs to do this once in a while, I feel.

Introspection accords us opportunities to evaluate where we stand in life, where we are in the eyes of our friends (and foes), what we've been through and what else we should expect from then on, and most importantly, it accords us the opportunity to correct what is wrong without having to wait for the next New Year resolution.

If you need an excuse to do that, year's end is the best excuse.

In the process of introspection, I often find myself to be an arrogant prick; an inconsiderate boss and person, an insolent brat plus all other bad things or traits I succumbed to. But we can't be negative with ourselves all the time, can we? Hence when I go through the process of introspection, I also take the positive aspects into perspective, such as being a loving person to my family and friends, being friendly to this earth and its energy resources, being eco-friendly in saving on the use of paper to save trees which provide the oxygen and carbon dioxide at the right time of day, being appreciative of all who came into my life and rendered help and assistance when I had to call on them, and more ....

Introspection is not about feeling sorry for what one has done, Nor is it an avenue for one to blame others for one's failings and/or omissions. Maybe I've read a lot of Buddhist teachings and teachings of worthy philosophers and great men who graced this planet. Perhaps I've managed to overcome my pride. Perhaps I've had enough of ups and downs in my life to realize all those things I now feel about introspection - both the positive and negative aspects of that process.

I consider myself truly lucky to have an understanding family, tolerant staff, colleagues and peers in my line of work, and most of all, I am grateful to my parents, grandparents, teachers, lecturers, mentors, friends, and all those who've helped shape my life, my philosophy of life, my thinking and my will to think and to change.

One need not feel sorry about what mistakes we've made in life. BUT one has to look forward to what else we are capable of doing in life so as to enhance our own lives and to help enhance the lives of those around us.

This is a farewell message to 2008 and all the years I've left behind.
I hope the rest of you will write the same farewell message as you see fit.

Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
Ka-ching all the way
Oh what fun is there to ride
When your bank could close today
Hey Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
The sham of bankers' ways
O what fun is left for us
when the world's haywire today

Companionship - A city is never a home without friends ..

"A city is empty if you don't have friends to make you feel at home", someone once told me. I didn't realise that till many years later.

I have been in London, New York, Paris, Toronto, Hongkong, Tokyo, Taipei, Beijing and Shanghai and they all meant nothing to me if not for the people I knew. Even Singapore which I call home is sometimes as lonely as can be if I was just wandering around, aimlessly. Or Bali for that matter, the jewel of every tourist in the world. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'd stopped traveling to see new places unless I have friends in those places.

In a nutshell: Cities are cold. It's the people in the cities who provide the warmth.

I'm not talking about the tourist or backpacker who wanders around as an "alien" in any city, chatting with anyone who obliges - for they're easy to find or come by. But these "aliens" don't normally or are not likely to come with the true warmth of any city. I'm talking about people who can actually make us feel "welcomed" beyond the smiles you see replicated in the umpteen tourism ads on TV every where. I'm talking about people who are warm blooded, who make you feel the warmth in a city, any city.

I really don't blame the tourism ads; expounding their lands of smiles etc., for there are many who seek that promise of warmth - be they superficial or otherwise. Rather I feel that they're smart, for marketing a city with smiles is the first step in getting lonely souls (or potentially lonely souls) to make the effort and expense to go there and - hopefully - seek and find the companionship which will make them less lonely.

Companionship - that's an often forgotten word. But that word means more and more when one matures toward our twilight years.

I don't believe that true companionship can be found overnight (it's not one-night-stands I'm talking about either). Companionship has to be nurtured, understood, cherished, and more. But no one interpretes those criteria in that strict sense anymore. Hence, I can see why and how companionship is hard to come by yet people easily part with large sums of monies to get to where that promise of companionship appear to be -- helped along by the advertising people who have clients to please and whose salaries and bonuses depend on how they can "sell" those destinations to (gullible) tourists. "Land of smile"; "Land of dreams"; "Exotic Asia"; Exotic Africa" or exotic anywhere for that matter. They are all but adjectives if one doesn't have friends or cannot find the all important companionship in those destinations.

Upon further reflection, who cares? We all live in such a serious world that we're not about to spend a few days with someone from a foreign land and suddenly take him or her to be a "true" friend or companion. We all live in a superficial world anyway. If this guy or gal gives you the sense that you are "at home" and you are "among peers", we fall prey. For we don't have the time to look for the truth nor have the wish to seek the truth. So let it be - as the Beatles put it so well in their song.

That's the easy part, seemingly. My problem is that everytime I return to reality from one of those "feel good", "enjoyment of pseudo companionship" trips in a foreign land, I feel like a sucker who's sold my soul along with my feelings and emotions to people unworthy of my effort, and the money spent,of course.

But when I think hard enough, those are the realities of life - we needed companionship and the guys/gals who are out there to provide exactly what we needed are opportunists - who happened to be there at the right time and the right place. In a way, I feel like all of us are like birds with clipped wings lying in the comfort of the rescuer/samaritan who provides the warmth and medical attention we so dearly needed.

Hence the next time we feel we're at a lost, just think of ourselves as that bird with clipped wings and never let our pride overcome us by resisting that rescuer/samaritan who might be able to put us in the right place and perspective again.

Dealing with different people in our lives

We meet and have to deal with all sorts of people in our lives

There are those who grasp matters the 1st time, and there are those who are born not to grasp!

There are people who've been doing a certain job yet have all sorts of problems trying to understand what efficiency and reliability is about in the job they're doing. What happens in their work life will likely mirror in their personal and married lives - a mess, for want of a better word. How would you rate someone who can't even tell the difference between a screwdriver and a spanner and what those tools are supposed to be used for?

There are those who are good with words but falter when they have to act on their words. They are likely to have lots of plans and solutions to everything they're involved in. But all those plans and solutions are only good on paper, or in this day and edge, on the computer screen be it a Powerpoint or Keynote presentation or some other software more complex or task specific than the norm. When one tries to put those plans or solutions on the (real) ground or battlefield, nothing seems to work like they're supposed to. These people are likely to come up with a plan or solution and not bother to "debug" them thoroughly, like what newly written software ought to be.

Then there are those who are fond of chasing rainbows, rather than appreciate the rainbow right in front of them, where they are standing! They have lofty dreams, lofty approaches to how things can be done, always thinking about and conjuring the most ideal scenario when that ideal scenario could be arrived at by just appreciating where they are, harnessing the resources at their disposal, and doing something about what they are supposed to be doing.

But we need all of these people to make this world, for otherwise would have been a boring world not worth living for the myriad of personalities He created.

So, what can pragmatic people like us do and how do we deal with these people? Patience. Perseverance. Believing in what we feel is achievable. Commit ourselves to something which will bear results rather than looking out for that rainbow which leads nowhere. When all these people come together and respect each others' respective strengths and weaknesses and work to balance out one another, we have a success story in the making.

Leaders vs followers

Just had the privilege to read some wise words forwarded to me via email. How refreshing to hear that there are people out there who look forward to doing things with what they have rather than complaining about what they don't. They make the best of what they have and await the unexpected. I don't think they should be considered passive, in fact they are pro-active to me. Pro-active in the sense that they DO things with available means and tools. These are the leaders as far as I am concerned.

We had a new software installed for evaluation in the office and from how everyone reacted, I already managed to pick out the leaders from the followers. The leaders were so eager to learn, so eager to see what else they can get out of the software, and so pleased that they have a new tool to help them with what they're doing. The followers, or rather losers, are the ones who complain about what that software can't do, about how they need to go the roundabout ways to do certain tasks, and how slow it is. And they all failed to see which aspects that software has made their lives easier.

It's similar in what's facing us in life right now, in the face of this global economic crisis.

The leaders will look at the constraints and limitations this crisis has brought about to their normal lives, they will look for opportunities such as how they can utilise the downturn to streamline their operations, make more efficient use of their time and resources, and how else they can use their time to improve, innovate and prepare for the upturn. The followers and losers will spend most of their time whinging about how the downturn has affected their lives, what they're having to live or do without, their sacrifices and blah blah blah.. Are you one of them? Or are you more than that?

During the 1997 financial crisis in Asia, I can remember telling the rest of my staff and peers to watch the rebound. We upgraded, we re-trained, we survived the crisis, we earned respect from our staff and vendors and so on.... And true enough, when the rebound struck us, we were one of the few who were prepared for the work which overwhelmed the industry and caught others unprepared. We retained all the basic infrastructure albeit scaled down somewhat, we retained most of our capable and competent staff and most of all, we retained the mindset which enabled us to handle the rebound.

This is also true about life. I've had my ups and downs. When I'm down, I sob a little like any human would (unless you're in a Hollywood movie), worry a little, get stressed up quite a lot, BUT I also found time to learn from the lessons which caused the "down" and reminisce those moments which I enjoyed during the "ups". I also found time to learn more, improve myself, and adapted my mindset to perpetual ups and downs which I'll meet in my life.

Life's worth living they say! I can't see how that can be disputed.

X'mas again

Tis the time for X'mas celebrations again! Lunches, dinners, drinks, get togethers of all sorts...

Friends got together today for a X'mas luncheon starting with champagne at 11. It must have been a 5 or 6 hour lunch which ended up at one of our favourite watering holes thereafter. All seems to have been forgotten during this time abyss today -- by the time everyone crawled onto the comfort of their beds.

It's a culture of sorts to have long X'mas luncheons; and the Westerners have lived it up even though they're in Asia. Before we get into November, plannings and bookings would already have been underway for the early birds will get the best choices of restaurants and the best deals. It's a kind of reward for the year's hard work which everyone is deemed to have put in, especially in a tough year like this has been. I wonder what the bankers are doing in New York and how they're going about their traditional long and expensive luncheons.

My guess is that the bulk of their discussions would have been on how to pay themselves fat bonuses without raising the ire of taxpayers and government officials who are using taxpayers' money to bail their banks out of the mess created by their mismanagement. And I wonder how many of those taxpayers can afford to savour the Dom Perignons that this bankers down in their celebratory X'mas dos. In George Orwell's Animal Farm, there're words to the effect that all men are equals but some are more equal than others. Perhaps Orwell saw something which we are only beginning to realize.

Poor Thais

I have nothing but sympathy for the people of this supposedly peaceful, predominantly Buddhist kingdom

First they (the Bangkok elite) cannot tolerate a good Prime Minister (Thaksin) who cares for the poor so much so that they instigate the army and support a coup d'etat. OK he may have mixed business with politics, but that must surely be a case of the pot calling the kettle black for I can't imagine a Thai politician who's in politics with the sole purpose of serving his/her fellow countrymen. There's always a hidden agenda somewhere and this normally starts from a hunger for power and recognition, evolving into business propositions from people around them, and inevitably leading to some form of corruption, collusion or cronyism.

In the so called affluent Western world, this is not dissimilar to the work of lobbyists, and politicians laying the ground for campaign funds at the next election - its not called corruption or cronyism. Look at what happened to Bush and Cheney and their relationship with oil giants. Here in the East, it's called corruption and cronyism, plus nepotism in the words of the Indonesians.

"One man one vote" is just not good enough for the urban elite in Bangkok and surrounds. Farmers are deemed "children of a lesser God" and don't deserve to have the equal vote that the "intellect and elite" have

So why did the security apparatus and the army in Thailand let these PAD bandits and bullies run amok to the extent of isolating Bangkok from the outside world and inconveniencing tourists by closing their airport? Doesn't this smell of collaboration? Doesn't this suggest that some "high power" up there is tacitly supporting the bullies and bandits who wear yellow purportedly in support of the King. This high power is so powerful, for otherwise the PAD movement would not have rendered the army and police ineffective. How should the monarch feel when bandits and bullies further their crimes under the auspices of loyalty to the monarch?

They asked for Prime Minister Samak to resign when they occupied government house in Bangkok. Samak resigned but they didn't disperse from government house. Now they want replacement Prime Minister Somchai to resign and the government to step down. Who's going to govern if the government steps down? They, the PAD who's holding the country at ransom even though the government is a democratically elected one?

When I was in Bangkok during the Thaksin era, a lot of the established business people dislike Thaksin openly. The cushy contracts and relationships they had with the "old school" politicians suddenly disappeared in the face of billionaire Thaksin and his business empire. It's not unlike the Suharto kids in Indonesia - before the children grew up, business deals were spread out "quite equally" among Suharto loyalists under a "somewhat successful" patronage system; but when the children grew up and entered the business world, the best deals were snatched up by the Cendana family leaving the "bones" for the others.

How can Thais get out of this quagmire.

Maybe they need a strong Prime Minister like Thaksin to come back and resolve this once and for all - through negotiations and diplomacy. Thaksin must have learnt his mistakes by now - maybe he isolated the powerful elites so badly that they have but one aim and that is to put him out of power. The person who's so instrumental in reshaping the country and giving the rural folks a breathe of fresh air may have moved too fast for the urban folks to accept. I'm quite sure that a smart person like Thaksin will not make the same mistakes, IF given a second chance.

If only Indonesia has the same strong willed and committed leader in next year's elections. Rural Indonesians, perhaps even all Indonesians will be able to breathe the same fresh air Thaksin provided to the rural Thais - corrupt officials who pilfer from education and welfare funds for the poor excluded, of course.

Strange world in difficult times

This is indeed where are now. Failing banks; falling markets; felled regimes... Where is mankind headed, I wonder?

The good news.
We have a new US President who has to tackle the current crisis.
World commodity prices has fallen so inflationary pressures will not come from scarce commodities at least in the next 18 to 24 months.
All countries are coming together to get us out of this quagmire.
China is doing something to "jump shock" their economy.
we can all

The BAD BAD news
Recession, recession, recession
No signs that confidence is rebuilding in credit markets.
Putin and Russia has not said what it plans to do to get his country and the world back on track.
Europe is united yet divided still.
Pirates off Somalia are creating havoc to shipping, and hence stifling trade and raising costs/inflation.


Tell me more ....

Asia's young democracies

News out of Thailand and Malaysia are hoarding the headlines now; soon it will be Indonesia when they move into election fever in 2009. All these point to the fact that most countries in Asia are still going through a young and immature democracy.

Thailand has been notorious for their coups d'etat for as long as people can remember. Malaysia is slightly different in that the Barisan Nasional has been a stabilizing force in the country made up of diversified ethnic groups, until their General Elections in March 2008. From developments so far, the populace seem to be "fed up" with the pro-Malay/bumiputera policies which survived Malaysian politics up until now. The feeling on the ground, it seems, is that the pro-Malay policies are responsible for the culture of cronyism, nepotism and corruption in Malaysia which Indonesia - referred to as KKN in their own language - is trying to shed .

Malaysian politics is based on a patronage system not unlike the Indonesian system under the late President Suharto. Sort of an old boys' network not dissimilar to what's common in the UK, USA and Canada and other western countries. The difference in the affluent West is that they try and be as accountable as possible, save for the way the Bush administration appointed their security contractors in Iraq. In Malaysia, it's very different; for the government seem to award projects like they were "distributing the spoils", the way warlords or conquerors in history, east and west, used to do to reward their loyal subjects who helped them win territories.

Thailand is unique as the elite failed to deliver voter numbers to ensure that the party they support wins the election. Its probably arrogance which allowed Thaksin and his party to win over the greater numbers from the rural poor compared to elitists in the capital and major cities. The Indonesian politicians are better at this, knowing how to spread their campaign efforts over the areas where the numbers count. That's why I feel that the Thai elites who want to control Thailand are really arrogant.

Of all the democracies in Asia, Thailand is probably worst off. Malaysia a close second. The Philippines is too corrupt to count and Singapore's "managed democracy" probably doesn't fall into that league - and Singapore's leaders don't want to be in the same league of "western styled" democracies anyway. That leaves Indonesia, which is probably the closest to the western definition of "democracy" as we can get, not that it is the best form of governance for such a diversified country like Indonesia for now. But I'm sure that with a lot of hard work, the Indonesians will find the equilibrium on a democracy which works for their country, assuming there are enough politicians committed to the secular approach as the best way forward for their country in the next generation.

My take on the current financial crisis

What do you do when you find your retirement fund shrink to half what they were worth 10 months ago? How do you feel when seemingly low risk investments in top institutions and companies in the world fail you? Well, you are not alone.

Who would have predicted the fall of century-old establishments like Lehman and Bear Stearns?

NOBODY, really!

This is a good lesson to myself and all else seeking better returns for their investments. Whenever anyone asks me for investment advice, I always tell them to keep a portion of their wealth in cash and safe investments albeit low returns, such as fixed deposits in established commercial banks, while they put the rest in riskier investments such as equity-based mutual funds or stocks. This is yet to be tested as we haven't come to the bottom of this crisis, according to esteemed economists around the world.

So far, we've only seen investment banks and other niche financial institutions fail - not Bank of America, Citibank or HSBC - or not yet. Banks with a large deposit bases are somewhat sheltered from this turmoil, lest there be a run on the bank stemming from market rumours such as the one which befell Bank of East Asia in Hong Kong.

Governments are going all out to guarantee their nations' bank deposits - first the USA, then Europe, followed by Hong Kong, Singapore and others in Asia. I'm sure this "jumping on the bandwagon" syndrome is an inevitable defensive move especially coming from Hong Kong and Singapore. Imagine all the high net worth individuals pulling out their deposits from one country and parking them somewhere with governmental protection. That would have been catastrophic for their banking system.

Now, about riskier investments.

My approach has always been that of putting money I don't need for now, and money I can sit out and wait for returns in riskier higher return investments. We as individuals don't go by annual balance sheets and performance figures. We can afford to sit out investments over 3 or 5 years. If our investments return 50% in 5 years, we're still doing a healthy 10% per year average return (not compounded return) which isn't bad.

Some days ago, a friend of mine who has put money into equity-based funds panicked when the markets collapsed. He sold out, and ended up losing half the capital invested. Such panicky investors is a contributory factor to the collapse of stock markets around the world. He didn't need the money now. He wasn't forced by banks or brokers for he did not pledge the investment as collateral against any borrowing. There is really no conceivable reason for him to cash out when values are shedding on rumours rather than fundamentals. Such is the free market I suppose.

My sister called me the other day and asked how I was doing, as she knew I like to sort higher returns in riskier investments. I told her YES my portfolio did shrink by about half from the beginining of the year. YES there is a paper loss. But I also told her that I did follow Warren Buffett's advice earlier on in the year to hoard cash and wait for opportunities. I'm still pretty liquid and can embark on "buy" opportunities should I see signs of the markets bottoming out.

Having been through the Asian financial crisis in the late 90s, this doesn't surprise me anymore although its severity and speed did catch me off guard a little. The crests and troughs seem to happen every 10 years - 1987 black Monday, 1997 Asian crisis and now sub-prime.

My advice to friends and family is to wait this out, if their investments are in blue chips or blue chip funds. I waited out the Asian crisis and the investments paid off - at least on paper, as of end 2008 - but I didn't cash out in time before this crisis hit. Lesson for me then is to cash out when we hit the next high - be it in 3, 5 or 8 years' time - and restructure my portfolio so I won't be caught out in a situation where I'm depending on those investments to accord me the same lifestyle I'm leading now during retirement.

I hope this will help any panicky investor thinking of biting the bullet and cutting losses, for this is not the end of trading in the free market. As long as markets are trading, what goes down must come up, and vice versa.

Sub primes - Covering up with political backing

Look at the stock markets now. And look at what the American government tried to do.

When China covered up on the SARS and melamine scares, every one (almost) felt that China shouldn't have done that. But when the Americans covered up on the impact of their sub prime problems on the economic health of the world, the comments were a lot more muted.

I guess the difference is that in SARS and the melamine cases, there were actual human deaths directly relating to those incidents, whereas in the current sub prime fiasco, there aren't any DIRECT deaths, although the indirects harm that it has done to the modern world is beyond the imagination of any one of us.


There's Bernanke, Paulson and all the wise people with unquestionable credentials in a regulatory capacity who chose to remain silent about the impact of the sub prime crisis until a year after it first surfaced. Considering that these people have intimate knowledge of their financial systems, they should have had more notice than the rest of us prior to the problem surfacing in the public domain. So did they try to "cover up" thinking that it can be contained? Are they not as guilty as the Chinese officials who tried to cover up on SARS and melamine contamination in milk out of China?

We can't help Asians feeling like the Western media is stringing them up to roast at every opportunity for whatever cover-ups the governments of Asia do, the Western media seem to feed on it like a pack of vultures. But when there's a foul up in the Western world, not dissimilar to those in Asia, somehow, someone will be able to "guide" them into looking at things in a different perspective.

Is this less harmful and/or less severe than China's covering up of the SARS crisis? Or the melamine contamination issue still running hot in all the presses? Did the Americans elect a President who cannot appoint competent officials to look after their economy? What about all those checks and balances in Congress and the Senate? Didn't any of those learned men and women smell something fishy when the first sub prime defaults started to surface? How could the officials have taken JUST one weekend -- an American weekend when every American is supposed to be spending time with their families -- to sort out Bear Stearns? Even the best of brains would have had to do some preparatory work! Did they have an inkling as to what's happened and what's required? Surely they must have been prepared.

IS this a case of the pot calling the kettle black when it comes to disclosure for the interests of the rest of the world? Perhaps.

But we will never know, will we?

About Visions and Missions

Friend of mine just called and complained about some problems with her staff. She tried to instill some discipline and ground rules for her operations but met with resistance from some employees. Simple stuff that they were trained to do became chores she has to get involved in, as CEO of the company.

My answer: they (the staff) don't share your same vision and mission; and she's better off getting rid of those bad apples than to risk infecting the rest of her employees who need the job more and who are prepared to adapt to her ground rules.

I'm sure this happens to all companies, large or small. I also told my friend that it's the survival of the organisation and the security of all her employees which should take precedence over one or two rotten apples.

Every organisation must function and survive as a team. Just like football and any other sport. The minute we have a prima donna, the minute we have the weakest link who can't move at the same speed as the others, and who doesn't have the same conviction as the others, the organisation cannot survive, let alone advance in this highly competitive globalised world.

This friend of mine is a nice person, always kind, always mindful of her employees to the extent that she cannot bear to put someone out of a job. But I emphasized that it's the survival of the organisation, the interests of the shareholders, and the feeding of the majority of her staff and their families which are of paramount importance.

I'm glad she felt a lot better after hearing what I had to say. And I hope she will be able to put principles into practise and have the conviction to see changes through.

Friends....

It's intriguing to witness the changes friends go through.

One of my friends grew older but none the wiser. He's always been a laid back sort of person. Got married with a very capable, career minded lady. When they had their first child, she made the decision to give up her career totally just to be a housewife and look after the kids.

But my friend grew more and more laid back, to the point of perhaps letting laziness creep in. His career went no where. He dabbled in business but that led nowhere as well. His wife who loved and adored this once young and ambitious man is obviously disappointed. But being Asian, she kept things to herself for she believed that once she marries the man she chose, she will have to abide by the unwritten family rules in Asians.

All of us around them can't help but sigh whenever we hear about them.

Then there's this other friend who called me the other day, after quite a long while. He had to undergo an operation recently and is literally broke now. Besides the odd freelance jobs here and there, he hasn't really had any serious work for the last year or so.

This is someone who's had his glory days running one of the most successful businesses in our line of business some years ago. Where did all those hard earned dollars of his heydays go?

I knew he had a large family to support, and is the sole earner of the family. But then, he wasn't earning nickels and dimes in his heydays either?

Planning, maybe that's what it is we all need to do.

Make realistic plans and keep reviewing where we stand and where we are with respect to those plans.

It's easy for human nature to take over, for our minds to wander off track and let circumstances dictate and lead us to believe that we're none other than puppets of circumstances playing out in our lives. We let ourselves be convinced that those circumstances must be allowed to play out their course.

These mind games hinder our ability to rationalise and we fall prey.

I myself have fallen prey many times. I myself have made unrealistic plans which ended up with dreadful results. There's a fine line between pushing oneself to one's limits and coaxing one's abilities and instincts to flourish optimally in the direction we choose.

Every day is a different chapter and evey new day brings with it circumstances, problems, obstacles, challenges etc. It's up to us to filter out the ones we need to deal with from the ones which distract, and the ones which can wait and the ones which can't. This ability to filter and discern is probably the difference between great men and women and the not so great ones.

Life - a Kaleidescope (sort of)

So much happened these last few weeks. Clients wasting money unnecessarily just because they can't put their own house in order. Greed engulfing people so much so that their prides disappear. Weaknesses of the less humans all evident from a mere test of wills.

I remember all laundry services charge a premium when we are in a hurry and needed clothes delivered in less than the time quoted by the service. But at least those clothes came back to us freshly ironed and clean. But I can't say the same for other works commissioned in the service industry I'm in.

There's this client who's fond of confirming matters only at the 11th hour and we have to put together the human and other resources to have the project completed within unreasonable timelines. It's like building a two storey house in one month, rather than the 10 months it would normally take. The foundations are shoddy, the roof will leak, additional coats of paint are splashed even before the last coat is dried etc.

And that is what this multi national corporation spanning a few countries and paying top dollars for their executives practises.

Through their own inefficiencies and bureaucracies, projects hibernate until the very last minute when they can hibernate no more. They will commission the project often leaving no time to do proper soil tests and laying foundations, no time to order the best bricks and best brick layers and so on. And with the short time given, one often has to pay more in wages to have people work overtime, double up on human resources in order to get the job done in time, and accept less than satisfactory results.

But that's what they are content on doing. This is not one project. This has been happening for as long as I've known this client. They want something done, they will get it, at all costs.

Wonder what their shareholders will say if they'd known that the company has been wasting their money in that manner?

If I were a shareholder, I would have asked why the company hire executives at those prices when they cannot put the priorities in their sights. I would have asked why Chief Financial Officer had not seen the wastages. I would have asked why they had not structured the organization in a way conducive to a proper decision making process. I would have asked a lot.

But do such companies disclose at Annual General Meetings how they make decisions? Nope. They just declare and disclose what's required of the law.

Stealing your time

I'm sure all of us would have come across such thefts of our time.

They are the ones who walk into you office when you're engrossed in work. They send text messages to your handphone on the most trivial of matters. They call you just to interrupt and disrupt what you're doing on matters which could wait or could have been emailed.

Emails are good - compare to text messages to handphones - in that they can be read at your own leisure. Even people with Blackberry phones can opt to read emails at a time they choose to. They "push mail" you, but you don't have to read it instantaneously, that is the minute they are "pushes" to you.

In this world and age, it feels like we're having less and less control of our own time. Time to do things we want or need to do; time to be on our own; time to "just do nothing".

On the other hand, these time thefts are also victims to other time thefts to the extent that they're oblivious to this notion of "stealing time". They've simply "done onto us what others do to them".

What a pity. That's why I don't turn on or log on to any of the so called IM or "instant messaging" programs. Imagine you're deep into a proposal or quotation you have to complete in an hour's time and a busload of friend instant message you, or text message you on your handphone. You'll never get to complete what you've allocated time to do in that hour or so. Or worse still, a task requiring an hour to complete suddenly becomes something which can only be completed in 3 hours.

I feel that I'm just as guilty of stealing other people's time. Sometimes when I'm stuck in traffic and bored, I would invariably be tempted to SMS others on matters which come to mind. They come to mind, but they often won't need to be communicated instantly. But for some selfish reason, I chose to SMS so that it becomes one less matter to store in my brain for action.

A lot of people feel that once their email or SMS is out, their job is done. Mission accomplished. Many a times, I've had clients forward me emails from their clients or colleagues requiring attention just so that they feel they've done their jobs.

Often, these emails which they forward have not even been read or perused by them. And often too is that these emails relate to nothing I can do without their input on the contents of that email.

Blind forwarding, I call this; something I don't condone. All the staff under my control know this.

So, the next time you need to call someone, or text someone using SMS, think about how disruptive that will be to his/her routine; and most importantly, think about the effect all such disruptions and distractions on your own routine.

FRIENDS: WHEN YOU NEED HELP

If you've ever asked for help from friends, you'll probably know what I mean.

There are those who will point you in the right direction, then leave you to it; without putting in any further effort to help you.

I come across many situations where I've had to ask friends for help in getting connected to people in a new business situation or in an area I'm not familiar with.

The ones who volunteer help with earnest are likely to be the ones who will only pay "lip service". They will call their contact and say "a friend of mine needs help", then pass on the contact to you, period. They will not as questions such as:
"How was the person I introduced?
Was he able to help?
If not, do you want me to get someone else?"

Its very easy to test your friends. Try them out, and if they're like what I've illustrated, then you know they are NOT DEPENDABLE.

But if you come across someone who will ask those 3 questions I highlighted above, then they are the friends you should keep as "that's what friends are for"

Better still: if ever a friend is prepared to arrange a meeting with the people you would like to meet, and he/she will be there for the meeting.

Friendships can be shallow affairs. I recently had to contact some "friends" (supposedly) to ask about certain experiences they had which I didn't. One promised to meet but 3 weeks later, we're still emailing one another as to when is the best time to meet. Another immediately responded with the information I needed via email, promising to meet or talk should I need to.

Through the years, I've learnt to discern the true friends from the others. Have you?

THAILAND'S NEW AIRPORT

Maybe I've been late in this encounter for I've always tried to avoid travels to Thailand in thes e last two years due to the political situation there. But landing at Thailand's Suvarnabhumi airport for the first time since it opened wasn't an unpleasant experience at all. Despite all the negative news about how rushed the project was and all the problems that were supposed to have plagued this airport which the previous Thaksin government bull-dozed its way into launching wasn't apparent to me somehow. Perhaps I didn't spend that much time at the airport or perhaps those stories had more than a tinge of political salt and pepper added.

There was a lot more space than the old Don Muang International, and we didn't have to fly over a golf course worrying that an errant golf ball hit by an airforce general might choke up the engine on landing. Unfortunately all the space led to the bottleneck at the immigration counters.

The long immigration queues speak a lot about this country and, for that matter, any other I've visited, especially so after flying through Singapore where 20 minutes was all it took for me to get off the plane and onto a taxi after clearing immigration, collecting my bags and clearing customs.

A new feature at the immigration counter is a small, digital "web-cam-like" camera sitting up on a stand at the counter. A bit early I thought as there was still some months before the USA insists on biometric passports for all their visitors. Mine isn't biometric so there really wasn't any point in taking my photo and that of others. Surely Interpol will not have biometric info on their database yet for checking to. Maybe their officers don't trust their own eyes and prefer to compare our passport photos to the one they take with that little camera. Or perhaps that was one sure way they can print a "current" mug shot in the papers should one get onto the "wanted list". I can't help but wonder what happens to photos of those ladies who wear such heavy makeup that they themselves get a shock when they look at the mirror in the morning?

40 minutes later, I was out of the airport, having spent 30 minutes at immigration and another 10 minutes waiting for the bags. But that's a lot better than Kuala Lumpur where one has to spend anything from 20 to 40 minutes at immigration depending on your time of arrival, and another 20 to 30 minutes (regardless of how long you've spent at the immigration queues) waiting for your bags. I can only conclude that the KL International Airport must either have a complex and unique security screening system for all arriving bags, OR they're just not in the mood to get visitors out of their airport within a reasonably short time. But then again, Asian airports may already be the darlings for those who are used to long delays (whatever the reasons) at European and American airports.

WEEKENDS - TOTAL RELAXATION OR NOT?

Everyone, or at least most of everyone I know, like weekends. It's time for them to totally switch off, not have to think about what they've been doing from Monday to Friday, and just do things differently. The same for vacations.

I remember a two week vacation I had many years ago. The vacation was enjoyable. Lots of snow. Lots of company and good food. But guess what? When I got back to work, I was faced with triple or quadruble the problems I would have had to face If I'd kept in touch during the so-called vacation.

Once I took a weekend off (Friday afternoon to Monday morning) to somewhere without internet and emails and my laptop. Sure enough, when I returned on Monday, it took the whole of that week to catch up on what I'd missed out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a workaholic. I like weekends and I like to have time ro relax, do things I didn't have time to do on weekdays, and catch up with friends. But I always like to keep in touch even on weekends.

It doesn't mean that I have to respond to that email or SMS I receive during the weekend. But keep tabs of everything even on a weekend will enable us to have a headstart when Monday morning breaks.

I'm not stressed. Possible just in control.

Having the information and choosing when to react and respond to that information is more soothing than a day on the beach only to come back and be totally stressed about what's fed to us via email or SMS. Besides, while I'm not working, there may be others who are working toward getting things organized for first thing Monday morning.

Imagine someone who needs to know if you can have a meeting with them on Monday morning? Would you rather hear about that on Saturday night, or would you rather wake up on Monday morning to find that someone has been kept in limbo for two days? Would you rather wake up on Monday morning knowing exactly what meetings you have to attend that morning, or have someone SMS you about an answer he/she is waiting for since Saturday?

Would you rather have a leisurely start to you Mondays, or go through an adrenalin rush once you wake up to rush to a meeting which you should have been well prepared for, had you checked your email or SMS on Saturday.

Most people are trying to shun the electronic age when it comes to weekends. They want to go back to the times before internet and SMSes. They want to have "convventional" weekends where your boss, colleagues, clientsl, and vendors can't communicate with you until Monday. That's passe, really. Antiquated. And unless we change our mindsets, we will find ourselves having to fight those who are more technologically savvy, eager to stay "on top" of what they need to do on Mondays and can enjoy their weekends thoroughly, knowing that they will be well prepared for their Monday mornings

Food fo thought, perhaps, for those of you who go by conventional expectations of your weekends?

DEALING WITH EGOISTS

What happens when someone feels that whatever you do is suspect, unless they are involved; unless they see things in the same light?

Be it your colleague, your boss (what we normally call a control freak), or a member of your family who thinks -- and believes -- that he/she is better than you are in whatever you're doing?

It's really a waste of time, but something which we have to accept, accommodate or even appease (perhaps its the "devil" in them which we have to appease).

The thing I keep telling myself when faced with situations like these is to stick to my guns, stick to my principles, yet accord a certain amount of room for each to maneuver (for the sake of face saving, as the Chinese and perhaps even the Javanese call it); for breaking or upsetting that "balance" will certainly result in more dire and often unpredictable consequences.

But why do people need to impose upon others? Why do people have to "question" others' actions and intentions when they have no clue as to the reasons behind them? If it isn't the devil in one pushing one toward egoistical boundaries, then the sun must rise from the West.
Very often, these people don't wish to listen or think about reasons too.

I deal with people like that each day. And I'm sure you do. Honestly I don't have any solutions to offer, other than to play the game, remain patient, or pretend to remain patient, and move on. There's no sense in stressing oneself, I thought; for these people are beyond reason and cannot be treated as rational people.

When they are your colleagues, your boss, your family, more complications set in; for you will have to deal with them day in and day out. Nevertheless, as long as we realize and remember that they are not the ones who will bring about the end of this world, they are not the ones who will make or break our futures (for our futures will always be in our own hands), and that they are not the ones will make the world go round, we are in a good position to move ahead.

Life is always about moving ahead. A friend of mine refers to obstacles as "minor irritations" or "minor hurdles" which are a part and parcel of everyone's lives. So be it.

The next time you have to deal with an egoist or whatever you choose to call him/her, just remember that you're not alone.

DO WE HAVE REGRETS IN OUR LIVES

A friend of mine asked if I've ever had regrets in my life. I told her, of course we all have our regrets. But the path I chose was to decide on something, make a commitment to that decision and not look back. Tiger Woods will probably tell you the same thing for that's the basic thing any golfer has to do between 60 to 100+ times in an 18-hole round.

The important thing, I said, was to tell oneself that - based on the circumstances, information and all the other parameters known to us at the time of the decision - we have made the best decision. Be it having to minimize casualties (like military commanders do), or limiting the damage etc. We all make decisions based on parameters. There is really no right nor wrong. The difference is whether we commit to that decision or we don't.

Committing on a decision - my version of not looking back - enables us to explore all possibilities that decision can yield, be they good or bad. But then again, what is good or bad is really relative. If we hadn't been through the bad, how would we know what is good? And vice versa.

Most of the time, we humans - I'm guilty of that too - are too concerned and often take too seriously of what others say of our decisions. "You shouldn't have done that!" "If only you'd done that". The people who say these things don't go through the same things we do when we make those decisions. That's why I always like saying "if I were in your shoes, I would have done this or that". But I was not in their shoes.

By committing on a decision made and giving our best to it, we are giving ourselves the best available chance of the desired ends. The alternative is to commit and make a half hearted effort to the decision because we're not sure if that is the right or wrong decision. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or nuclear physicist to figure that one out. 

So the next time you're not sure as to whether you've made the right decision, tell yourself its too late as you've already made that decision. Tell yourself that your best way out is to commit to that decision and do your best to move toward the desired end. Indecisiveness should, by definition, happen BEFORE, a decision; not after one is made.

 

LIFE - WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE

This goes out to my siblings, friends and all those who may have encountered obstacles, uncertainties and situations of role conflicts in their lives.

We will all reach a certain time in our lives when we ponder about what life is and what it has to offer. Whether you're near retirement, or just crossing your "mid-lives", or in a dilemma as to what next to do in your lives, believe me, these thoughts will hit you in one way or another.

We can live the rest of lives as bitter, "old" folks; bitching about all the sacrifices we've had to make and hardships we’ve been made to endure.

OR, we can look back at the hard work we've put in, and all the struggles and achievements we’ve made in the process of living, relish those thoughts, and reminisce about all we’ve been through.

The choice is ours to make.

I will never forget the torments my mom went through in her twilight years in trying to come to terms with what and who she is, the ramifications of the choices she had made in her life, and what she had to live with and live through.

I don’t intend to follow that path, nor would I recommend that to any one of you.

Our lives are within our control. We can choose which way, how, and under what circumstances we want to live the rest of our lives.

There is no right or wrong. It’s what we want that matters.

So the next time you feel lost, or at a lost as to how to make the next move, think about all the other people who have breathed their last breaths in happiness and contentment, and also all those poor souls who gasps for those last breaths in fear and anxiety.

We should all live a better life. The choice is yours to make.

PROMISES WE MAKE

We all have made promises in our lives. And we would all have counted the number of promises we delivered. But have we counted the COSTS of delivering on those promises? By costs, I do not mean physical monetary costs, but all that would have cost us, physically and mentally, tangible and intangible.

Keeping promises can mean mental anguish, heart aches and head aches. Promising to remain patient and tolerant with people can be one such example. The more patient we are, the more we seem to be taken advantage of. Silence and tolerance become interpreted as weaknesses by the "predator" who becomes emboldened in his or her ways, especially if this predator is someone within your family.

By being patient, I was hoping that the person receiving the kindness will improve on his or her ways. I was also hoping that the show of patience will touch the person so much so that he or she will realize the mistakes made and seriously attempt to reform. But each time, I will be disappointed. And each year which passes brings about more disappointments.

Thoughts of reneging on that promise I made crossed my mind several times over the years for I am just as human too. Humans succumb to pain and disappointment, and the natural reaction will be to say "to hell with the affliction". But when my better senses came back, I reminded myself again of that promise and was able to come to terms with the situation.

Perhaps when I draw my last breath, I will be able to feel that sense of relief in having honoured my promise to that someone so dear to me. But by then, would it have mattered?

DOES IT PAY TO LISTEN?

Some people have this uncanny ability to ignore all things happening around them, choosing to believe what they want to believe, and most of all, sticking to that which they believe - regardless. And they're not idiots, mind you.

This guy is a reasonably successful businessman, having worked in a multi national listed corporation for quite a while. As a senior executive of that company, he'd actually made contributions -- which can be quantified - that helped the company to new heights with one of their products.

And his current business isn't doing too bad either, despite the structural deficiencies and high staff turnover.

So how can someone who doesn't listen get to where he is?

I've had this discussions with our circle of friends several times. We initially felt he wasn't all that intelligent but re-thought that after we took into account empirical evidence of his achievements so far. I can only conclude that the key was in his "hard-headed-will" to believe in what he believed. Even if its a lie, believing in it and sticking to your guns could make that lie appear "factual". Maybe that's the secret of his success, so far at least.

My company happens to be a partner on some of his company's projects, unfortunately. And dealings with him are always tests of patience.

We can have several email and text message exchanges for weeks on end, only to have the same questions asked, AGAIN, several weeks later. It's not forgetfulness I've concluded, for the clarity and unequivocal manner in those exchanges were understood by everyone else told me so.

So what is it about people like these?

My only conclusion as of now is that the way the system tolerates them. Incompetence, ambiguities etc. It's probably taking Sun Tzu's words in The Art of War about "taming chaos with organization, and vice versa" to the limit, I guessed.....

WEALTH DOESN'T BUY WISDOM

Had a meeting with a BIG guy, rich and has everything (almost) this world can give. Yet the comment from my colleague who's meeting him for the first time is that money cannot buy you wisdom.

Throughout that hour or more of the meeting, the BIG guy was incoherent and, at times, contradictory.

We're doing this project for one of his divisions in the company and he just wants us to do what was conceived; NOT what we can add to the conception. At times, we felt like he might as well have conceived the idea (if it can be called an idea) and done the execution of that idea to his consumers himself. To start with, it isn't an idea per se. It's just what he thought his target market or consumers would like to know about his product. Honestly, me being one of his consumers, we are really interested in only what his product can offer us in terms of benefit. We don't care how you made the product. We don't care how you arrived at this idea of having this product. All we're interested in is "how this product will benefit us and hence keep us interested in repeated purchases of this product".

I would have thought that rich people will have all the privileges of getting the best and most up to date information in order to survive in this age - the age of the internet and the age of globalisation. I must say that I'm totally and utterly disappointed, along with my colleagues.

Wisdom - and success, for that matter - must never be taken for granted, I thought. But you know what my colleague had to say? It's enlightening; and he's proud to have had this chance to meet someone who fell prey to his (my colleague's) tickling of his (the BIG guy's) imagination.

There you go. Nothing is absolute. When one bullies the others, he/she do not know that the others see that bullying as challenges to their wits.

To be or not to be, ourselves

Received an email from an old friend whom I haven't heard from for at least 10 years breaking the happy news of his re-marriage after his divorce about 12 or so years ago.

Congrats I replied. It's really nice to hear of such news. I've heard my fair share of relationships breaking up and friends divorcing, so this was a pleasant change. But I certainly hope that he's thought through the reasons for his failed first marriage before he made that decision to re-marry.

This friend of mine isn't the most pragmatic of people I've known. Through the years I've known him, and known of him, he's had his share of indiscretions and "choosing to live and believing that he's living amidst the clouds".

I can remember visiting an island he partially owned, for which he's proud. Because of the numerous invitations extended to me, I decided to visit that island. And guess what? We had to wade through knee deep water to reach his side of the island at high tide. When it was nightfall, he turned on the generator so we could have dinner under dim lighting conditions, only to have to turn it off after dinner. There were no air conditioning or fans to circulate the air in the tropical heat. Just the occasional sea breeze. The consolation was that we had brought enough wine to sip through dinner so that dozing off would not be a problem. In my mind, I can't help but wonder why anyone would want to buy a house on a part of the island which cannot be reached by boat at high tide - even after a two hour trip from the nearest pier.

My only conclusion was that it was his dream to own an island (or a part of one) and he had succeeded in fulfilling that dream.

Very often, he would escape or choose to retreat from the realities of life just so he can continue to stay aloft in the clouds. And that has cost him quite a bit, in terms of financial losses, opportunities lost, and finally the loss of his marriage? But on second thoughts, has he lost as much as one can tangibly quantify?

Everyone of us have dreams. There are those who are brave enough to pursue those dreams at all costs, yet others who dare not take that leap of faith and venture beyond their comfort zones. But I admire this friend of mine for what he has chosen for himself, and for his guts in venturing beyond what most humans would dare to. For I know of others who've chosen the safe path and end up regretting for the rest of their lives.

By no means have the impression that I'm not one who believes that marriages are sacrosanct. Nor families unimportant in our lives. Perhaps I'm just one of those who believes in the individuals we've being created to be. We weigh our risks and we take our risks.

Nobody wants to have broken marriages or separated families. No one wants to be broke. But no one would want to die without fulfilling their dreams or their life's wishes. It's a tight rope to walk. But I believe that we should never deny ourselves of the opportunity to pursue life's wonders.

I'm happy for my friend, who so courageously embark on his (second) leap of faith into a marriage which may or may not work out. Time will tell. But I'm sure he will enjoy all he's chosen while they last.

MAKING THE BEST USE OF OUR TIME

Thinking back when I was in abroad, say in North America, the UK or Hong Kong or Singapore, if the CEO of a company wants to see his Vice Presidents (VPs) or subordinates, he had to check their appointment books, unless it was an emergency. I can remember times when the VP told the CEO off that he had a prior commitment and cannot be there when the CEO needed him.

Here in most parts of Asia, particularly in Indonesia, VPs and other senior managers don't seem to be as responsible to their Profit and Loss accounts than showing up whenever the CEO or a VP or a director beckons. There lies the most crucial difference in cultures between East and West.

In the true system of accountability, each VP, director, manager or head of department has to be responsible for the results under his purview. If he/she has to be called into a meeting which doesn't contribute to the financial results of the department or division under him/her, he/she would have said "no" for he/she will have to answer to a fair appraisal at the end of a specific period - with all things taken into account, not just that of showing up whenever the boss' secretary calls.

Here it's different. If the boss calls you and you won't or don't want to show up, even though you're doing something more worthy or important to the results of the company than attending a trivial meeting or briefing, the boss remembers that. They won't remember that you're making money for the company and hence contributing to the returns and results under his purview; but they will surely remember you giving them a snub(s).

Why is that so? Perhaps because we Asians look upon not showing up when called upon as an expression of "dissent" or even "insubordination" rather than one of efficiency or making the best use of our time. Surely, all executives of a company must work for the interests of the company as the directors - who hired the executives - will have to account to the shareholders at the end of the year/quarter in terms of the Profit and Loss account etc. So why would these directors expect their subordinates to forego the pursuit of results and objectives of the company - the objective these directors set and are supposedly there to safeguard - just so their subordinates can be there at their whims and fancies?

I've seen these in may corporations, whether they are family businesses or multi-nationals listed on one or more stock exchanges.

The boss calls, and you have to dump whatever you're doing and stop all your efforts in earning money for your company and its shareholders, just to attend to that call. Silly isn't it.

Do they realize how much they're losing by doing so?

What that results in is an ad hoc management system and structure. All their staff and support partners or vendors become stuck in a limbo when they're at a lost as to what's important and what's not.

Tyrannies as portrayed in films like "The devil wears Prada" are Hollywood's portrayal. In the real world, unless you're running a small town magazine, that kind of management won't work. "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely" is the adage.

I had a few meetings with a multi-national corporation these last few days regarding a project we were doing to - supposedly - help them sell their services and achieve improved results. But, to my horror and surprise, the key personnel involved in this project were hardly available in those meetings, leaving only the ones who cannot make decisions and who are not privy to the high level discussions at board level to sit in.

Nothing substantive transpired in those meetings. We needed to appease the middle managers and executives who were there just because their bosses wanted them to be at those meetings. But no decisions on our project were made which will enable us to move on and proceed with the project and do the jobs we've all been paid to do. In other words, they're paying us for not doing the work which we had quoted to do, but to sit around and wile away our time.


So why would a multi-national corporation be wasting millions of dollars paying their CEO, directors, VPs and managers when they're not there to perform what they are paid to do - like managing the company as a start? Why are they been paid to sit around in non constructive meetings which yield no returns to the shareholders of that company.

They are not much different from the maids in my house who only earn a tiny fraction of their salaries. They are told to be where the boss wants them to be, just like my maids. My maids never had to worry about my income and expenditure, just like these supposedly executives seem to do. I push the bells and the maids show up, no matter what they're doing, just like these executives do.

Imagine the money these corporations could have saved if they were to make more efficient use of their executives' time? Probably enough to charge us consumers less and yet make a healthier return for their shareholders and have spare cash to donate to the various charitable causes to help the impoverished and the handicapped certainly.

Common guys. Enough productivity is lost in traffic woes, among others, caused by incompetent bureaucrats. Must we in the private sector contribute to this wastage of valuable economic resources?

FRIENDS WILL GROW APART

I'm sure all of us would have encountered many goodbyes in our lives. Starting from different stages of schooling when we have to bid farewell to people we have spent a few years with, to friends we meet in different cities and countries when its time for us to move on. Some of us might even have encountered bidding farewell to our boyfriends or girlfriends due to circumstances such as education or work commitments.

I remember when I had to leave my puppy love to travel abroad for continuing education and all the pledges we made to one another, only to find that we've grown apart after only a few months. There are marriages which fall apart after the spouses have to "temporarily" separate in pursuit of their respective careers. There are good friends who used to chat through the night but find that the much longed-for rendezvous after a few years' separation ended up with nothing more than trivial banters and impersonal exchanges, a far cry from those "close-at-heart" nightly chats of the yesteryears.

Nothing lasts forever except for the memories of a person or persons whom we've had the opportunity to cross paths with.

Sure we'll remember our ex-schoolmates as they were. Sure we'll remember those colleagues whom we've worked with before, as well as all the other friends we made along the way. But the relationship with them will never be the same again after a period of separation.

But memories aren't bad things to hang on to. At least they're finite and real as opposed to any current relationships or friendships with unknown endings. We don't know which of our present friends will betray us one day, or become "enemies" or "adversaries" in some aspect of our lives. But we know for sure that no matter what happens, the fond memories of a friendship or relationship will withstand the test of time, for all humans tend to forgive at the end of the day. Which is why being human is such a precious gift.

I recently "found" a friend whom I've lost contact with for several years. The long distance call to him a few thousand miles away was cordial and full of the reminiscing anyone would have expected. But did that make us the same persons we were before we lost touch? But is that important? No, I said to myself. That phone call meant so much in that I knew I had not lost contact with a friend.

I still have many regrets about having lost touch with a lot of friends in my life. Hopefully I might be able to make up for some of that as the cyberworld presents plenty of opportunities to track people down wherever they are on this planet. But, no matter what, memories of those mud fights and football games with the then-schoolmates, some of whom I can't even attach a name to, will always be fonder than actually having a cup of tea or a beer in the unlikely event of a rendezvous.

Face off with the evil within us

Ever come across people who look at life so negatively that you can't help but wonder if they're constantly asking themselves why they should have been born?

There are enough of them around us to make life "not as comfortable" for us, especially if we have to work with them or otherwise interact with them. They are constantly surrounded by a gloomy aura such that anyone who gets near them can't help being affected by this aura. The conflicts within these people manifest within 10 minutes of contact or interaction.

Many times it's the illusion of a lack of attention; when the devil within them say that they're not getting the attention or appreciation they deserve (be it appreciation for their work or purely their existence) so much so that they must let loose a series of negative signs in protest of how this world isn't treating them fairly and squarely.

When they get too much work, they feel like they need to be appreciated for working hard, even though the rest of the people around them work equally hard. When they face a problem (even if the problem is caused partly, perhaps even entirely, by their own doings or omissions), they need the rest of the world to show, unequivocally, that they sympathize with them.

When something goes wrong with whatever it is in their lives, it's always about someone else not measuring up to expectations or something else not doing what it should have done, BUT never about themselves. Traits of selfishness, definitely. But I believe it's a lot more than that.

They fall ill easily, perhaps because they've chosen to be surrounded by bad vibes each day. Or perhaps they're always feeling that they don't feel good. They have friends, but they only want friends to listen when they speak. And when the friends speak up, they must speak in agreement. It's a pity that they are so lonely within themselves.

The pent up frustration and struggles within themselves result in frequent or even prolonged outbursts of rage. Or it may even result in some form of violence, be it violence upon someone else or violence upon themselves, like banging their heads against the wall or thumping their fists on the table. Feed them with alcohol and the problems are compounded a hundred times.

They are the ones who need help most, yet will shun help. They will not read books about self improvement or positive aspects of life. Suggestions or even hints of psychiatrists will surely meet with bouts of flying rage. Sadly, one can only conclude that they don't seem to want to help themselves.

Compare this with people who are always positive about the situations they're in.

Whether it's problems with the work they're doing, whether it's temporary setbacks in their life, or whether it's just a bad day. They always have a positive outlook. A temporary setback or bump is a test of oneself, they believe. A good day will always follow a bad day or series of bad days. There's always hope waiting for them after this bad patch is over. Negativity or anger will compound existing problems rather than solve them. Words of appreciation for what we have done are the most superficial forms of appreciation even if they are meant as they are said; unspoken respect and admiration echoes louder through the times.

Through the years of meeting and dealing with such negative personalities, I have tried to overcome the bad aura with my good ones. But, on days when the bad aura become so overpowering that my good ones risk being consumed, I would beat a hasty retreat.

Its not easy; for the evil within ourselves will always encourage conflicts, for conflicts are what they need to feed on to become more evil. There lies the resolve in ourselves. We can succumb or choose not to.

Human relations are as complex as this universe. I can't even pretend that I'm seeing the light of day yet. Can you?

Has LIFE been good to you?

Many people complain that life has been bad to them? Yet, there are others who feel they've been lucky to have a good life till now, touch wood.

When one has too much work, one tends to complain. Especially in the fast and changing world of advertising and commercial film making, people tend to have perennial complaints about being over worked. But, there are still many who take the work load as a chance for them to prove themselves, as a sign that they are being trusted by their superiors, as a blessing that they are working when millions of others out there, including fresh college grads each year, are struggling to find work.

The ladies selling fried rice in push carts and make shift road side stores in Jakarta obviously have a tough life too. Their normal day starts at 4 in the morning and they don't stop till they've served the last plate of rice in their carts for the day - if they're lucky to sell all their food. What satisfaction do they get from their job? Perhaps the occasional praise from a satisfied customer? Most of the time, they are just making enough to survive and to feed their families. They don't get the chance to go on stage to collect an award for excellence, like the advertising executives and film people do. No one appraises their performances and give them salary raises each year. There's almost no hope of promotion - unless a hungry white knight happens to visit her cart or store and likes her food so much that he gives her a break at cooking in a restaurant, maybe his restaurant.

Taxi drivers are not different in their fates. They can't be working as taxi drivers waiting for this opportunity to be admired by a tycoon who happens to take a ride in his cab and adore his driving skill so much as to hire him to drive his limousine? Most taxi drivers zig-zag through the crowded streets of Jakarta to "deliver" their fares, so they can get the next in order to make ends meet. What chance have they got of anyone adoring their driving skills? Ask any commuter who've had to ride in cabs in this city and they will have the same answers.

So for those of us who has managed to land ourselves with cushy jobs in air conditioned offices, looking at life with a different perspective won't hurt.

I was talking to a friend today who works in the advertising film production industry as a freelance crew. He was working flat out in the last few months, traveling from one place to another and shooting great commercials. His first expression when I asked about work met with frowns and how hectic and tough work had been these last few months. But when I asked if he'd rather be working or idling at home with his wife and kids, the face beamed with a wide smile and the answer was obvious. At the rate he's charging for each day of shoot, his whole family would be able to afford most of the nice things in life. His kids will be assured of a good education if they wanted to and worked for it. His wife will be shopping with other wives during her free time. And he can look forward to relaxing in his retirement home when he chooses to stop working.

So the next time you find that you're over worked and under appreciated, think about the nasi goreng ibu (lady selling fried rice) or taxi driver or all the millions out there living today without knowing if they'll be able to make enough tomorrow. Maybe you will learn to savor your present more.

Previously unthinkable about starting my own blog

Blogs? What are these? A source for people complaining about certain causes? People advocating certain causes? Or what?

Having written and commenting on others' blogs, I finally decided to set up my own. Hopefully I wouldn't fall into the same traps as others: complaining, airing views which otherwise would not have had an audience, criticizing anonymously etc.... But all those are such tempting temptations which I'm not sure if I can resist.

But who the hack cares?

Let these be my memoirs of journeys through my work and personal life. Let this serve as reference material to others within the same trade and beyond. Let this be of help to those who may relate, or even those who may not relate ....

Such is the power of the internet; so let it be.