DOES IT PAY TO LISTEN?

Some people have this uncanny ability to ignore all things happening around them, choosing to believe what they want to believe, and most of all, sticking to that which they believe - regardless. And they're not idiots, mind you.

This guy is a reasonably successful businessman, having worked in a multi national listed corporation for quite a while. As a senior executive of that company, he'd actually made contributions -- which can be quantified - that helped the company to new heights with one of their products.

And his current business isn't doing too bad either, despite the structural deficiencies and high staff turnover.

So how can someone who doesn't listen get to where he is?

I've had this discussions with our circle of friends several times. We initially felt he wasn't all that intelligent but re-thought that after we took into account empirical evidence of his achievements so far. I can only conclude that the key was in his "hard-headed-will" to believe in what he believed. Even if its a lie, believing in it and sticking to your guns could make that lie appear "factual". Maybe that's the secret of his success, so far at least.

My company happens to be a partner on some of his company's projects, unfortunately. And dealings with him are always tests of patience.

We can have several email and text message exchanges for weeks on end, only to have the same questions asked, AGAIN, several weeks later. It's not forgetfulness I've concluded, for the clarity and unequivocal manner in those exchanges were understood by everyone else told me so.

So what is it about people like these?

My only conclusion as of now is that the way the system tolerates them. Incompetence, ambiguities etc. It's probably taking Sun Tzu's words in The Art of War about "taming chaos with organization, and vice versa" to the limit, I guessed.....

WEALTH DOESN'T BUY WISDOM

Had a meeting with a BIG guy, rich and has everything (almost) this world can give. Yet the comment from my colleague who's meeting him for the first time is that money cannot buy you wisdom.

Throughout that hour or more of the meeting, the BIG guy was incoherent and, at times, contradictory.

We're doing this project for one of his divisions in the company and he just wants us to do what was conceived; NOT what we can add to the conception. At times, we felt like he might as well have conceived the idea (if it can be called an idea) and done the execution of that idea to his consumers himself. To start with, it isn't an idea per se. It's just what he thought his target market or consumers would like to know about his product. Honestly, me being one of his consumers, we are really interested in only what his product can offer us in terms of benefit. We don't care how you made the product. We don't care how you arrived at this idea of having this product. All we're interested in is "how this product will benefit us and hence keep us interested in repeated purchases of this product".

I would have thought that rich people will have all the privileges of getting the best and most up to date information in order to survive in this age - the age of the internet and the age of globalisation. I must say that I'm totally and utterly disappointed, along with my colleagues.

Wisdom - and success, for that matter - must never be taken for granted, I thought. But you know what my colleague had to say? It's enlightening; and he's proud to have had this chance to meet someone who fell prey to his (my colleague's) tickling of his (the BIG guy's) imagination.

There you go. Nothing is absolute. When one bullies the others, he/she do not know that the others see that bullying as challenges to their wits.

To be or not to be, ourselves

Received an email from an old friend whom I haven't heard from for at least 10 years breaking the happy news of his re-marriage after his divorce about 12 or so years ago.

Congrats I replied. It's really nice to hear of such news. I've heard my fair share of relationships breaking up and friends divorcing, so this was a pleasant change. But I certainly hope that he's thought through the reasons for his failed first marriage before he made that decision to re-marry.

This friend of mine isn't the most pragmatic of people I've known. Through the years I've known him, and known of him, he's had his share of indiscretions and "choosing to live and believing that he's living amidst the clouds".

I can remember visiting an island he partially owned, for which he's proud. Because of the numerous invitations extended to me, I decided to visit that island. And guess what? We had to wade through knee deep water to reach his side of the island at high tide. When it was nightfall, he turned on the generator so we could have dinner under dim lighting conditions, only to have to turn it off after dinner. There were no air conditioning or fans to circulate the air in the tropical heat. Just the occasional sea breeze. The consolation was that we had brought enough wine to sip through dinner so that dozing off would not be a problem. In my mind, I can't help but wonder why anyone would want to buy a house on a part of the island which cannot be reached by boat at high tide - even after a two hour trip from the nearest pier.

My only conclusion was that it was his dream to own an island (or a part of one) and he had succeeded in fulfilling that dream.

Very often, he would escape or choose to retreat from the realities of life just so he can continue to stay aloft in the clouds. And that has cost him quite a bit, in terms of financial losses, opportunities lost, and finally the loss of his marriage? But on second thoughts, has he lost as much as one can tangibly quantify?

Everyone of us have dreams. There are those who are brave enough to pursue those dreams at all costs, yet others who dare not take that leap of faith and venture beyond their comfort zones. But I admire this friend of mine for what he has chosen for himself, and for his guts in venturing beyond what most humans would dare to. For I know of others who've chosen the safe path and end up regretting for the rest of their lives.

By no means have the impression that I'm not one who believes that marriages are sacrosanct. Nor families unimportant in our lives. Perhaps I'm just one of those who believes in the individuals we've being created to be. We weigh our risks and we take our risks.

Nobody wants to have broken marriages or separated families. No one wants to be broke. But no one would want to die without fulfilling their dreams or their life's wishes. It's a tight rope to walk. But I believe that we should never deny ourselves of the opportunity to pursue life's wonders.

I'm happy for my friend, who so courageously embark on his (second) leap of faith into a marriage which may or may not work out. Time will tell. But I'm sure he will enjoy all he's chosen while they last.

MAKING THE BEST USE OF OUR TIME

Thinking back when I was in abroad, say in North America, the UK or Hong Kong or Singapore, if the CEO of a company wants to see his Vice Presidents (VPs) or subordinates, he had to check their appointment books, unless it was an emergency. I can remember times when the VP told the CEO off that he had a prior commitment and cannot be there when the CEO needed him.

Here in most parts of Asia, particularly in Indonesia, VPs and other senior managers don't seem to be as responsible to their Profit and Loss accounts than showing up whenever the CEO or a VP or a director beckons. There lies the most crucial difference in cultures between East and West.

In the true system of accountability, each VP, director, manager or head of department has to be responsible for the results under his purview. If he/she has to be called into a meeting which doesn't contribute to the financial results of the department or division under him/her, he/she would have said "no" for he/she will have to answer to a fair appraisal at the end of a specific period - with all things taken into account, not just that of showing up whenever the boss' secretary calls.

Here it's different. If the boss calls you and you won't or don't want to show up, even though you're doing something more worthy or important to the results of the company than attending a trivial meeting or briefing, the boss remembers that. They won't remember that you're making money for the company and hence contributing to the returns and results under his purview; but they will surely remember you giving them a snub(s).

Why is that so? Perhaps because we Asians look upon not showing up when called upon as an expression of "dissent" or even "insubordination" rather than one of efficiency or making the best use of our time. Surely, all executives of a company must work for the interests of the company as the directors - who hired the executives - will have to account to the shareholders at the end of the year/quarter in terms of the Profit and Loss account etc. So why would these directors expect their subordinates to forego the pursuit of results and objectives of the company - the objective these directors set and are supposedly there to safeguard - just so their subordinates can be there at their whims and fancies?

I've seen these in may corporations, whether they are family businesses or multi-nationals listed on one or more stock exchanges.

The boss calls, and you have to dump whatever you're doing and stop all your efforts in earning money for your company and its shareholders, just to attend to that call. Silly isn't it.

Do they realize how much they're losing by doing so?

What that results in is an ad hoc management system and structure. All their staff and support partners or vendors become stuck in a limbo when they're at a lost as to what's important and what's not.

Tyrannies as portrayed in films like "The devil wears Prada" are Hollywood's portrayal. In the real world, unless you're running a small town magazine, that kind of management won't work. "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely" is the adage.

I had a few meetings with a multi-national corporation these last few days regarding a project we were doing to - supposedly - help them sell their services and achieve improved results. But, to my horror and surprise, the key personnel involved in this project were hardly available in those meetings, leaving only the ones who cannot make decisions and who are not privy to the high level discussions at board level to sit in.

Nothing substantive transpired in those meetings. We needed to appease the middle managers and executives who were there just because their bosses wanted them to be at those meetings. But no decisions on our project were made which will enable us to move on and proceed with the project and do the jobs we've all been paid to do. In other words, they're paying us for not doing the work which we had quoted to do, but to sit around and wile away our time.


So why would a multi-national corporation be wasting millions of dollars paying their CEO, directors, VPs and managers when they're not there to perform what they are paid to do - like managing the company as a start? Why are they been paid to sit around in non constructive meetings which yield no returns to the shareholders of that company.

They are not much different from the maids in my house who only earn a tiny fraction of their salaries. They are told to be where the boss wants them to be, just like my maids. My maids never had to worry about my income and expenditure, just like these supposedly executives seem to do. I push the bells and the maids show up, no matter what they're doing, just like these executives do.

Imagine the money these corporations could have saved if they were to make more efficient use of their executives' time? Probably enough to charge us consumers less and yet make a healthier return for their shareholders and have spare cash to donate to the various charitable causes to help the impoverished and the handicapped certainly.

Common guys. Enough productivity is lost in traffic woes, among others, caused by incompetent bureaucrats. Must we in the private sector contribute to this wastage of valuable economic resources?

FRIENDS WILL GROW APART

I'm sure all of us would have encountered many goodbyes in our lives. Starting from different stages of schooling when we have to bid farewell to people we have spent a few years with, to friends we meet in different cities and countries when its time for us to move on. Some of us might even have encountered bidding farewell to our boyfriends or girlfriends due to circumstances such as education or work commitments.

I remember when I had to leave my puppy love to travel abroad for continuing education and all the pledges we made to one another, only to find that we've grown apart after only a few months. There are marriages which fall apart after the spouses have to "temporarily" separate in pursuit of their respective careers. There are good friends who used to chat through the night but find that the much longed-for rendezvous after a few years' separation ended up with nothing more than trivial banters and impersonal exchanges, a far cry from those "close-at-heart" nightly chats of the yesteryears.

Nothing lasts forever except for the memories of a person or persons whom we've had the opportunity to cross paths with.

Sure we'll remember our ex-schoolmates as they were. Sure we'll remember those colleagues whom we've worked with before, as well as all the other friends we made along the way. But the relationship with them will never be the same again after a period of separation.

But memories aren't bad things to hang on to. At least they're finite and real as opposed to any current relationships or friendships with unknown endings. We don't know which of our present friends will betray us one day, or become "enemies" or "adversaries" in some aspect of our lives. But we know for sure that no matter what happens, the fond memories of a friendship or relationship will withstand the test of time, for all humans tend to forgive at the end of the day. Which is why being human is such a precious gift.

I recently "found" a friend whom I've lost contact with for several years. The long distance call to him a few thousand miles away was cordial and full of the reminiscing anyone would have expected. But did that make us the same persons we were before we lost touch? But is that important? No, I said to myself. That phone call meant so much in that I knew I had not lost contact with a friend.

I still have many regrets about having lost touch with a lot of friends in my life. Hopefully I might be able to make up for some of that as the cyberworld presents plenty of opportunities to track people down wherever they are on this planet. But, no matter what, memories of those mud fights and football games with the then-schoolmates, some of whom I can't even attach a name to, will always be fonder than actually having a cup of tea or a beer in the unlikely event of a rendezvous.

Face off with the evil within us

Ever come across people who look at life so negatively that you can't help but wonder if they're constantly asking themselves why they should have been born?

There are enough of them around us to make life "not as comfortable" for us, especially if we have to work with them or otherwise interact with them. They are constantly surrounded by a gloomy aura such that anyone who gets near them can't help being affected by this aura. The conflicts within these people manifest within 10 minutes of contact or interaction.

Many times it's the illusion of a lack of attention; when the devil within them say that they're not getting the attention or appreciation they deserve (be it appreciation for their work or purely their existence) so much so that they must let loose a series of negative signs in protest of how this world isn't treating them fairly and squarely.

When they get too much work, they feel like they need to be appreciated for working hard, even though the rest of the people around them work equally hard. When they face a problem (even if the problem is caused partly, perhaps even entirely, by their own doings or omissions), they need the rest of the world to show, unequivocally, that they sympathize with them.

When something goes wrong with whatever it is in their lives, it's always about someone else not measuring up to expectations or something else not doing what it should have done, BUT never about themselves. Traits of selfishness, definitely. But I believe it's a lot more than that.

They fall ill easily, perhaps because they've chosen to be surrounded by bad vibes each day. Or perhaps they're always feeling that they don't feel good. They have friends, but they only want friends to listen when they speak. And when the friends speak up, they must speak in agreement. It's a pity that they are so lonely within themselves.

The pent up frustration and struggles within themselves result in frequent or even prolonged outbursts of rage. Or it may even result in some form of violence, be it violence upon someone else or violence upon themselves, like banging their heads against the wall or thumping their fists on the table. Feed them with alcohol and the problems are compounded a hundred times.

They are the ones who need help most, yet will shun help. They will not read books about self improvement or positive aspects of life. Suggestions or even hints of psychiatrists will surely meet with bouts of flying rage. Sadly, one can only conclude that they don't seem to want to help themselves.

Compare this with people who are always positive about the situations they're in.

Whether it's problems with the work they're doing, whether it's temporary setbacks in their life, or whether it's just a bad day. They always have a positive outlook. A temporary setback or bump is a test of oneself, they believe. A good day will always follow a bad day or series of bad days. There's always hope waiting for them after this bad patch is over. Negativity or anger will compound existing problems rather than solve them. Words of appreciation for what we have done are the most superficial forms of appreciation even if they are meant as they are said; unspoken respect and admiration echoes louder through the times.

Through the years of meeting and dealing with such negative personalities, I have tried to overcome the bad aura with my good ones. But, on days when the bad aura become so overpowering that my good ones risk being consumed, I would beat a hasty retreat.

Its not easy; for the evil within ourselves will always encourage conflicts, for conflicts are what they need to feed on to become more evil. There lies the resolve in ourselves. We can succumb or choose not to.

Human relations are as complex as this universe. I can't even pretend that I'm seeing the light of day yet. Can you?

Has LIFE been good to you?

Many people complain that life has been bad to them? Yet, there are others who feel they've been lucky to have a good life till now, touch wood.

When one has too much work, one tends to complain. Especially in the fast and changing world of advertising and commercial film making, people tend to have perennial complaints about being over worked. But, there are still many who take the work load as a chance for them to prove themselves, as a sign that they are being trusted by their superiors, as a blessing that they are working when millions of others out there, including fresh college grads each year, are struggling to find work.

The ladies selling fried rice in push carts and make shift road side stores in Jakarta obviously have a tough life too. Their normal day starts at 4 in the morning and they don't stop till they've served the last plate of rice in their carts for the day - if they're lucky to sell all their food. What satisfaction do they get from their job? Perhaps the occasional praise from a satisfied customer? Most of the time, they are just making enough to survive and to feed their families. They don't get the chance to go on stage to collect an award for excellence, like the advertising executives and film people do. No one appraises their performances and give them salary raises each year. There's almost no hope of promotion - unless a hungry white knight happens to visit her cart or store and likes her food so much that he gives her a break at cooking in a restaurant, maybe his restaurant.

Taxi drivers are not different in their fates. They can't be working as taxi drivers waiting for this opportunity to be admired by a tycoon who happens to take a ride in his cab and adore his driving skill so much as to hire him to drive his limousine? Most taxi drivers zig-zag through the crowded streets of Jakarta to "deliver" their fares, so they can get the next in order to make ends meet. What chance have they got of anyone adoring their driving skills? Ask any commuter who've had to ride in cabs in this city and they will have the same answers.

So for those of us who has managed to land ourselves with cushy jobs in air conditioned offices, looking at life with a different perspective won't hurt.

I was talking to a friend today who works in the advertising film production industry as a freelance crew. He was working flat out in the last few months, traveling from one place to another and shooting great commercials. His first expression when I asked about work met with frowns and how hectic and tough work had been these last few months. But when I asked if he'd rather be working or idling at home with his wife and kids, the face beamed with a wide smile and the answer was obvious. At the rate he's charging for each day of shoot, his whole family would be able to afford most of the nice things in life. His kids will be assured of a good education if they wanted to and worked for it. His wife will be shopping with other wives during her free time. And he can look forward to relaxing in his retirement home when he chooses to stop working.

So the next time you find that you're over worked and under appreciated, think about the nasi goreng ibu (lady selling fried rice) or taxi driver or all the millions out there living today without knowing if they'll be able to make enough tomorrow. Maybe you will learn to savor your present more.

Previously unthinkable about starting my own blog

Blogs? What are these? A source for people complaining about certain causes? People advocating certain causes? Or what?

Having written and commenting on others' blogs, I finally decided to set up my own. Hopefully I wouldn't fall into the same traps as others: complaining, airing views which otherwise would not have had an audience, criticizing anonymously etc.... But all those are such tempting temptations which I'm not sure if I can resist.

But who the hack cares?

Let these be my memoirs of journeys through my work and personal life. Let this serve as reference material to others within the same trade and beyond. Let this be of help to those who may relate, or even those who may not relate ....

Such is the power of the internet; so let it be.