"A city is empty if you don't have friends to make you feel at home", someone once told me. I didn't realise that till many years later.
I have been in London, New York, Paris, Toronto, Hongkong, Tokyo, Taipei, Beijing and Shanghai and they all meant nothing to me if not for the people I knew. Even Singapore which I call home is sometimes as lonely as can be if I was just wandering around, aimlessly. Or Bali for that matter, the jewel of every tourist in the world. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'd stopped traveling to see new places unless I have friends in those places.
In a nutshell: Cities are cold. It's the people in the cities who provide the warmth.
I'm not talking about the tourist or backpacker who wanders around as an "alien" in any city, chatting with anyone who obliges - for they're easy to find or come by. But these "aliens" don't normally or are not likely to come with the true warmth of any city. I'm talking about people who can actually make us feel "welcomed" beyond the smiles you see replicated in the umpteen tourism ads on TV every where. I'm talking about people who are warm blooded, who make you feel the warmth in a city, any city.
I really don't blame the tourism ads; expounding their lands of smiles etc., for there are many who seek that promise of warmth - be they superficial or otherwise. Rather I feel that they're smart, for marketing a city with smiles is the first step in getting lonely souls (or potentially lonely souls) to make the effort and expense to go there and - hopefully - seek and find the companionship which will make them less lonely.
Companionship - that's an often forgotten word. But that word means more and more when one matures toward our twilight years.
I don't believe that true companionship can be found overnight (it's not one-night-stands I'm talking about either). Companionship has to be nurtured, understood, cherished, and more. But no one interpretes those criteria in that strict sense anymore. Hence, I can see why and how companionship is hard to come by yet people easily part with large sums of monies to get to where that promise of companionship appear to be -- helped along by the advertising people who have clients to please and whose salaries and bonuses depend on how they can "sell" those destinations to (gullible) tourists. "Land of smile"; "Land of dreams"; "Exotic Asia"; Exotic Africa" or exotic anywhere for that matter. They are all but adjectives if one doesn't have friends or cannot find the all important companionship in those destinations.
Upon further reflection, who cares? We all live in such a serious world that we're not about to spend a few days with someone from a foreign land and suddenly take him or her to be a "true" friend or companion. We all live in a superficial world anyway. If this guy or gal gives you the sense that you are "at home" and you are "among peers", we fall prey. For we don't have the time to look for the truth nor have the wish to seek the truth. So let it be - as the Beatles put it so well in their song.
That's the easy part, seemingly. My problem is that everytime I return to reality from one of those "feel good", "enjoyment of pseudo companionship" trips in a foreign land, I feel like a sucker who's sold my soul along with my feelings and emotions to people unworthy of my effort, and the money spent,of course.
But when I think hard enough, those are the realities of life - we needed companionship and the guys/gals who are out there to provide exactly what we needed are opportunists - who happened to be there at the right time and the right place. In a way, I feel like all of us are like birds with clipped wings lying in the comfort of the rescuer/samaritan who provides the warmth and medical attention we so dearly needed.
Hence the next time we feel we're at a lost, just think of ourselves as that bird with clipped wings and never let our pride overcome us by resisting that rescuer/samaritan who might be able to put us in the right place and perspective again.
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