Sunday, June 8, 2008

DO WE HAVE REGRETS IN OUR LIVES

A friend of mine asked if I've ever had regrets in my life. I told her, of course we all have our regrets. But the path I chose was to decide on something, make a commitment to that decision and not look back. Tiger Woods will probably tell you the same thing for that's the basic thing any golfer has to do between 60 to 100+ times in an 18-hole round.

The important thing, I said, was to tell oneself that - based on the circumstances, information and all the other parameters known to us at the time of the decision - we have made the best decision. Be it having to minimize casualties (like military commanders do), or limiting the damage etc. We all make decisions based on parameters. There is really no right nor wrong. The difference is whether we commit to that decision or we don't.

Committing on a decision - my version of not looking back - enables us to explore all possibilities that decision can yield, be they good or bad. But then again, what is good or bad is really relative. If we hadn't been through the bad, how would we know what is good? And vice versa.

Most of the time, we humans - I'm guilty of that too - are too concerned and often take too seriously of what others say of our decisions. "You shouldn't have done that!" "If only you'd done that". The people who say these things don't go through the same things we do when we make those decisions. That's why I always like saying "if I were in your shoes, I would have done this or that". But I was not in their shoes.

By committing on a decision made and giving our best to it, we are giving ourselves the best available chance of the desired ends. The alternative is to commit and make a half hearted effort to the decision because we're not sure if that is the right or wrong decision. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or nuclear physicist to figure that one out. 

So the next time you're not sure as to whether you've made the right decision, tell yourself its too late as you've already made that decision. Tell yourself that your best way out is to commit to that decision and do your best to move toward the desired end. Indecisiveness should, by definition, happen BEFORE, a decision; not after one is made.


 

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