Received an email from an old friend whom I haven't heard from for at least 10 years breaking the happy news of his re-marriage after his divorce about 12 or so years ago.
Congrats I replied. It's really nice to hear of such news. I've heard my fair share of relationships breaking up and friends divorcing, so this was a pleasant change. But I certainly hope that he's thought through the reasons for his failed first marriage before he made that decision to re-marry.
This friend of mine isn't the most pragmatic of people I've known. Through the years I've known him, and known of him, he's had his share of indiscretions and "choosing to live and believing that he's living amidst the clouds".
I can remember visiting an island he partially owned, for which he's proud. Because of the numerous invitations extended to me, I decided to visit that island. And guess what? We had to wade through knee deep water to reach his side of the island at high tide. When it was nightfall, he turned on the generator so we could have dinner under dim lighting conditions, only to have to turn it off after dinner. There were no air conditioning or fans to circulate the air in the tropical heat. Just the occasional sea breeze. The consolation was that we had brought enough wine to sip through dinner so that dozing off would not be a problem. In my mind, I can't help but wonder why anyone would want to buy a house on a part of the island which cannot be reached by boat at high tide - even after a two hour trip from the nearest pier.
My only conclusion was that it was his dream to own an island (or a part of one) and he had succeeded in fulfilling that dream.
Very often, he would escape or choose to retreat from the realities of life just so he can continue to stay aloft in the clouds. And that has cost him quite a bit, in terms of financial losses, opportunities lost, and finally the loss of his marriage? But on second thoughts, has he lost as much as one can tangibly quantify?
Everyone of us have dreams. There are those who are brave enough to pursue those dreams at all costs, yet others who dare not take that leap of faith and venture beyond their comfort zones. But I admire this friend of mine for what he has chosen for himself, and for his guts in venturing beyond what most humans would dare to. For I know of others who've chosen the safe path and end up regretting for the rest of their lives.
By no means have the impression that I'm not one who believes that marriages are sacrosanct. Nor families unimportant in our lives. Perhaps I'm just one of those who believes in the individuals we've being created to be. We weigh our risks and we take our risks.
Nobody wants to have broken marriages or separated families. No one wants to be broke. But no one would want to die without fulfilling their dreams or their life's wishes. It's a tight rope to walk. But I believe that we should never deny ourselves of the opportunity to pursue life's wonders.
I'm happy for my friend, who so courageously embark on his (second) leap of faith into a marriage which may or may not work out. Time will tell. But I'm sure he will enjoy all he's chosen while they last.
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